For some couples, therapy is a last-ditch effort before splitting up. However, you don’t have to be considering a break-up to get something beneficial out of couples therapy!
Ditch the astrological compatibility and your petty best friend’s advice. Instead, follow the research! Around 70% of couples achieve positive, lasting change from couples therapy.
Why can’t that be you?
Misconceptions About What Therapy Means for Couples
There’s this stigma that people turn to therapists when they’re broken. However, we don’t view doctors and dentists in the same way, even though we quite literally go to them with broken bones, decaying teeth, etc.
We see them for annual check-ups, recurring physicals, regular cleanings, and other maintenance reasons. Why can’t we see therapy as something that strengthens us, instead of something that implies we are broken or failures first?
Enrolling in couples therapy does not mean there is something inherently wrong with your relationship, so cut the blaming and shaming. Therapy is a much healthier and productive way of facing relationship problems than pretending they don’t exist, convincing ourselves that our partner is the only problematic one, or insisting that real, true love shouldn’t require work.
For those with an avoidant attachment style, therapy may feel like a threat because shining a light on our darkest problems makes us think it will set them all on fire. In reality, most couples find that talking through their biggest relationship stressors with a therapist leaves them feeling lighter, more supported, and more confident in their relationship.
Signs You Could Benefit from Couples Therapy
While all couples can benefit from therapy, there are a few telltale signs it can make a big difference for you. Ask yourself: do you…
- Feel emotionally distant from your partner or feel overwhelmingly lonely?
- Mistrust your partner or feel you cannot rely on them for basic tasks, personal support, or loyalty?
- Attribute your sense of self-worth to how they’re feeling?
- Separate yourself emotionally from them to not threaten your independence?
- Disagree on group decisions relating to finances, parenting, or in-law relations?
If you feel you have to choose between leaving the relationship to be happy vs. staying in the relationship for the family and sacrificing your happiness, it could be time for therapy. Believe that it can bring back the vibrance and love that your relationship lost.
How Couples Therapy Can Benefit Strong Couples
Your relationship may be healthy, but life still has its curveballs! How can couples therapy prepare you and your partner for everything life throws at you?
- Providing coping strategies for tough times like losing a family member, facing job insecurity, or supporting your child through their challenges.
- Offering an outsider’s perspective on your plans for “big life” events, like preparing for a new baby, moving to a new place, or navigating a career change.
- Teaching you or your partner skills on how to become more emotionally open and/or communicative.
- Outlining the ways to have a “fair fight”. From dish duty to establishing boundaries with in-laws, fights are inevitable. If you can get through them without hurting each other, your relationship can thrive instead of slowly chip away.
- Creating a safe space to talk about topics you’re afraid to bring up alone, like dry spells in the bedroom.
- Assisting blended families in establishing skills that ensure all children feel seen, loved, and prioritized in their new family.
- Suggesting meaningful ways to connect without giving into reflexive and offensive behaviors like “phubbing”. (Avoiding your partner by scrolling through your phone, of which we’re all guilty!)
- Establishing and changing boundaries over time. Your mom stopping by to pick up your laundry may have been cute when you were in college, but it can become pretty invasive or patronizing once you start living together.
Don’t be like the average couple who waits six years before seeking professional help. Get ahead of the curve and schedule an appointment with us today.